Friday, March 28, 2008
FailDogs
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Dead Rockers + Gnome = POSSIBLE
Friday, March 21, 2008
Easter Shmmeaster
- (trying on a green sweater) You know with all that green and the red hair people will think your a leprechaun.
- (After threatening to kick me) Are you sure you can reach me up here, hey! I didn't know Ugs came in Munchkin!
- You look like the really short lady from the Incredibles.
- Need helping getting out of the car, its a pretty big fall for you.
- Where's the rest of you?
- (At a restaurant) Yes, and a booster seat for her.
All in all, it was good. I even made friends with he guy beside at the concert who was already 3 beers in. Eventually he got all sulky because he was cut off, but it was still a good concert. However, the stench of concert Mary Jane was hard to handle. There was more pot there then the Iron Maiden concert I was at last week. The best part is I always looked good beside the short chick.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Shovel Here, Shovel There
Friday, March 14, 2008
Are You Experienced?
Thursday, March 13, 2008
My Friends Seth & Paul
P.S. according to the internet, they shall be in a movie called Monsters Vs. Aliens, thats set to be released in 2009
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Keys To The D.U.M.B
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Break A Leg: The Sitcom
BREAK A LEG is the story of DAVID PENN, a writer who just got his first sitcom deal. GROOMMATES, his show about three ex-grooms living with their two ex-wives, replaces the previous hit, SWAMBLERS – a rollicking story of gambling cowboy swingers roughing it in the Wild West, Swambler-style. The writer/creator died – which is good news for David, because now he gets his own show.
Besides the regular trials and tribulations that come with shooting a sitcom, David has one other problem – he’s going to die at the end of the season. How? That remains to be seen. Why? That’s another important piece of information that David has yet to figure out. But as he narrates his story from beginning to end, one fact remains -- he will die, in the storage room, with a gun to his head and the sounds of a fake laugh track in his ears.
Will GROOMMATES be a hit? Will he win the hand of the feminist, ex-SWAMBLER turned secretary turned GROOMMATE? Will he get the respect he deserves from the likes of Jennifer John Bradley, the director and Sebastian Windlethorpe III, the producer? Will Andy Corvell, the network head who has never actually been seen, keep GROOMMATES on the air? And finally, will David, in fact, survive this ordeal?
A show not only about show business, but relationships, fame, entertainment and death – BREAK A LEG, the first "adventu-com" -- is a delicious mix of quick wit, adventure and murder -- like a very dangerous I Love Lucy.
Super Heroes
I wanna talk about the storylines now. Some plots that people come up with are kinda dumb. I was recently reading a comic where Spiderman goes to Africa (yeah, Africa) to help defeat people who are trying to take the great temple of CongoCoconut (or whatever) from the natives of the town. Holy crap. This has gone from skinny kid jumping around in a tight costume that for some reason doesn't show his bulge (mysterious) to some guy goin' through caves and doing stuff like Indiana Jones. (Hmm should I take the golden statue standing in the once piece of light coming in from this cave, after Ive gone through snakes and all kinds of crap? Yeah! What could happen)
I think The Justice League was the best thing to ever happen to comics. It kept all the main super heroes together and in one comic. This way, we only have to read one comic. But of course, once this happened people came up with rando super heroes to have plotlines even though no one has even heard of them. I was reading a Justice League comic, and suddenly the Green Lantern says "Quick drillman! dig a hole! And some weird blond haired guy with drills for hands. starts drilling a hole in the ground. Its bull crap. I'm tired.
Oh, and in case you wondering why I haven't addressed the idea that its totally unrealistic what super heroes do, its because I believe in that shit.
The Saga Of The Crazy Cat Lady
It seems like a normal day, sun shining, birds...gone from the cold. Nothing can go wrong, and then here comes this white haired (what I call a long haired bowl cut) with a cat slung across her shoulder like one of those ammo belts people carry on their chests. It was very weird. However, this was a while ago, and weird things have been happening ever since. Anyway, onto the saga.
It first began on recycling day, and it was about 9am. Me, being environmentally friendly had put my recycling bin out the previous night. As I opened the door to go to class, there she stood, well not stood as much slowly and strangely dragging my recycling bin up onto my property, still with the cat attached to her shoulder. When I asked her just what in gods name she was doing, she simply replied "Ain't no good no how to be leavin' these on the sidewalk. You should bring them in as soon as POSSIBLE" I emphasise possible because she had. Kind of weird to emphasise this word, but whatev.
The next time I saw her was in summer when I strolled out of my homestead once again. I met her, weeding my garden, which is strange because its very small, and the weeds are covered by this one big plant that is called whoreallycares. This time, she didn't seem to notice me, and proceeded to weed the garden in silence, except for a few mumbles and grumbles about the garden. Lets review. Old lady, not her garden, comes to other persons house, weeds, complains about weeds. There are not enough words in the dictionary.
Next on the agenda. Door cocking. Yes indeed. After one of my long classes, I was a little exhausted and burnt out. I pulled in the car, and stumbled to the house. There she stood in front of my door, pulling off the cocking. For those of you who don't know what cocking is, its the plastic stuff around other stuff to keep the heat in and keep stuff together. Once her task had been completed, she stumbled off with the cat in silence. I was never sure what she did with it. I don't think I want to know.
Finally, sorry if I'm boring you. I was driving home one night as she was walking down the street. On the other street some young kids spent their time snickering at her. She turned toward them, and proceeded to laugh as well. Then, as she walked away, she turned toward my car and told me, word for for word. "Those boys think I have a skunk on my shoulder. Oh hoo hoo a skunk. To be honest *she leaned in close* I'm not really a skunk kinda person! After this she laughed, and walked down the street.
I see her from time to time these days. Also, every recycling day she puts our boxes up near our house. She spends her time walking up and down the street with the cat on her shoulder. I have a sneaky suspicion that its sown to her body. I hope she never dies, because then I would have to go to her funeral, which would just be cats. All cats.
Until next time, the saga continues. Long haired bowl cut and all.