Julian Beever: God

Julian Beever is the crazy chalk artist that does crazy 3-d chalk art.

Check him out.

Games On Drury Lane

I was thinking...how many times do you think the Muffin Man gets Nicky Nicky Nine Doors played on him a night

WOO!

So, I have discovered that I'm going to Warp Tour!

God I love Punk Rock...I swim in that shit.

By the way, I couldn't find a freakin' '08 logo.

Buff Love

I'm was just thinking how gross the baby of The Hulk and The Thing from The Fantastic Four's baby would be...ew.

No It's Not A Gay thought.

Freakin' Summer

And so the heat has come, and I like it. 

My only problem is that where was spring? For me it went Winter then rain and then Summer! But where did all the new grass, and sprouting flowers come up? Did they just wake up from a 4 month catnap and pop up? 

Because now its hot, and I don't have shorts, and I'm chafing and sweaty, it's just bad news! So now comes the early summer suffering where my pool isn't open, so I can't take a dip there, no shorts, so I'm just gonna have to wing it. By lying. From now until I am prepared for summer, I will deny it is occurring. It's not fair that summer just gets to come and go whenever she pleases. Oh yes she comes at night and says she loves you, but then she just leaves whenever, ripping out my heart and stealing my chump change off my night table.

Anyway,

So summer is coming to fast. I'm gonna eventually buy shorts, but by the time I'm done that it'll be Fall! If she even comes... please come? And don't steal my loonies and toonies this time?

Well, at least there's beach volleyball. Mmmmmm beach volleyball.

 

Oh, To Be A Baby Once More

5:25 pm

The baby years were some the best years in my life. It was like a circus in hyperspace. Seriously though. You could poop, and it was cute. You could puke, it was o.k., as long as you didn't puke in anyone's mouth (sorry dad!) Drooling was a ball. It was the best feeling to be able to notice that there's saliva coming out of my mouth, that's not spit, and saying "this is awesome!" Or more like "Goob doob gaga awesome!" 

Another great aspect was the soap eating.

Yep. I consumed soap, like I mean chunks out of bars, not liquid soap. As my mother would wash me as a baby in the tub, every time she would turn away...CHOMP. Even when she put it out of reach, I still got it. The best was when I consumed an entire bar. This was of course over a course of two baths. As my mom left me unattended for a couple of seconds. I know you all are thinking," leaving a baby alone in a tub? Holy shitballs!" But it was o.k. I had a bottle of medication and a plugged in radio to keep me company. And by the time she got back, I had eaten the rest of the half eaten soap.... which I preceded to vomit soon after. Which I then ate. Kidding. Maybe. Yeah.

Also, I have been told that I was very happy when I stepped on a broke my brothers acoustic guitar. Yep.  As he laid on the ground just playing stuff I stood above him on a couch, with evil plots in my mind. After a long strum of the D minor cord, an almost evil chord, sensing what was about to occur. I launched my self like a slippery turkey in an old woman's hands down toward the guitar. My 10 hairs flew in the wind as I smiled with a devilish touch. My brother's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, and  and made contact, breaking the top, and safely landing in the open topped guitar. I smiled at my brother, unaware of what had occurred. It was then that he threw me across the room, which is why I have a dent in my head to this very day. Kidding. Maybe. Ok that one was definitely a lie.

Dead Rockers + Gnome = POSSIBLE

5:06 pm

It has recently come to my attention that a large amount of rock-stars have died in some type of vehicle accident, right when they're really makin' it. Take, Randy Rhoads. He played guitar for Ozzy Osbourne when he went solo. And soon enough, during one of their tours, boom. Dead. Apparently the dude who drove their bus stopped at an airplane hanger and took people for rides in one of the planes. Of course, they agreed no questions asked. Ok. This is after he had been driving at least 16 hours, and plus, he was probably drugged up, which kept him awake. Of course, they ended up crashing and killing everyone in it. Also, a couple of the band members of Lynyrd Skynrd (people who play Free Bird) Also died in a plane crash, during one of their tours, when they were at the peak of fame. As did the great guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughn. But, he did die in a helicopter accident. How do you do that anyway? At least in a plane you can get off course, and its a really big machine to maneuver. But all it takes to drive a helicopter is a guy with a stick attached to the floor. Mysterious?

This brings me to my conclusion. Conspiracy. My belief is there is some small evil elf or something that looks like the Travelocity Gnome. And he was bullied as a child (think of how short he was then, poor boy) by some guy who grew up to be a rock star, and now he's taking vengeance on everyone. Well, I cant deal with this goddamn rock star withdrawal. I think its time for him to hang up his little pointy Travelocity hat and stop while he's ahead, it's causing me too much strife. Oh, and I bet he pushed Keith Moon into that pool. He went for the legs, that's what you do with people who are tall.

My Friends Seth & Paul

10:12 pm

I'm watching the movie Knocked Up (good movie) starring Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd. And I need to say....both hilarious and great actors. Since Freaks and Geeks (Seth) and A Question Of Ethics (Paul) They have written, produced, and have been in so many awesome possum (no O in my opossum...screw it) movies and are still makin' em. I fist discovered Paul Rudd in the popular TV series FRIENDS, which I also love (I own seasons 1-8, missing 9,10, its a pass time, not a disease) and Seth Rogen I semi-noticed in Anchorman, which Paul Rudd was in, and since then I've seen a lot of both of their movies, which isn't hard because they're in a lot of the same ones. They are great actors, and I hope you agree as well. If you don't, you deserve a beat down.

P.S. according to the internet, they shall be in a movie called Monsters Vs. Aliens, thats set to be released in 2009

Keys To The D.U.M.B

11:15 PM

Here I am, sitting in the dark, in my living room at 11pm (timezone on blogger isn't right) watching the Comedy Network. On comes a commercial for a show called Keys To The VIP. Its a contest between men about who can get the most girls. A game similar to this is called male life. I'm not sure how many people watch it, but four or five "Girl Experts" watch each dude try to get numbers and what not. I think its DUMB. I wonder if these chicks know their being manipulated and being put on a TV show? I wonder if there's a show out there called Keys To The Girls Apartment or something where girls go out and find men to be their life long partners. It might be better then watching three different dudes with popped collars, sunglasses, and crazy hair try to get laid. I don't watch it, I think not a lot of people do either. That is all. Sorry Comedy Network. It Sucks Wang.

Super Heroes

Cleaning out my room the other day, I came across an assortment of many comics that I haven't read in a very long time. I began thinking of the 'Who could beat who in a fight' thing, but there are to many super heroes to deal with. That's why I'm here to say to Marvel Comics...and DC comics...and the other people to use your peripherals! Narrow it down to like, 5 super heroes for gods sake. its hard to keep up with Captain America bonking people on the head with his shield like clowns do with bats, Superman, changing from superman to Clark Kent, which is freakin' obvious, and Spider man having to beat up people who are trying to steal this and that. Its too much to take.

I wanna talk about the storylines now. Some plots that people come up with are kinda dumb. I was recently reading a comic where Spiderman goes to Africa (yeah, Africa) to help defeat people who are trying to take the great temple of CongoCoconut (or whatever) from the natives of the town. Holy crap. This has gone from skinny kid jumping around in a tight costume that for some reason doesn't show his bulge (mysterious) to some guy goin' through caves and doing stuff like Indiana Jones. (Hmm should I take the golden statue standing in the once piece of light coming in from this cave, after Ive gone through snakes and all kinds of crap? Yeah! What could happen)

I think The Justice League was the best thing to ever happen to comics. It kept all the main super heroes together and in one comic. This way, we only have to read one comic. But of course, once this happened people came up with rando super heroes to have plotlines even though no one has even heard of them. I was reading a Justice League comic, and suddenly the Green Lantern says "Quick drillman! dig a hole! And some weird blond haired guy with drills for hands. starts drilling a hole in the ground. Its bull crap. I'm tired.

Oh, and in case you wondering why I haven't addressed the idea that its totally unrealistic what super heroes do, its because I believe in that shit.